after Sara Ahmeds “Queer Feelings” (15/30)

the only words I have to talk about my body
   are sold to me

   by the histories

                 that have called me          


                                                                           antibody / nonlife / ungrievable loss


                 and other words for the kind of other that is always reaching

my love
is spoken of
through the grief that liberal men use to access it


               i am not a good gay

               i am not a good –


                                                                           look, I can do the killing too !

                                                                          I lick clits better than your boyfriend !

                                                                         how hot i look building my own jail !

                                                            ** local lesbian fucks herself XXX

                                                          ** her cunt is wide enough to birth your new nation 


a queer is attacked in San Francisco, CA
twenty good queers stand and watch and roleplay the knife

                                                           my country asks me to get married
                                                           be a good dyke

                                                          my country asks me to have pillow talk
                                                          in the stomach of a tank


                                                          isnt this what you always wanted?
                                                          just like you?
                                                         isnt your movement a plea for lessons
                                                         on how to be just as good of a butcher

                                                         as the rest of us?



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